Hello again it's been awhile, or at least it seems like it has been.
I have been challenged for awhile about what a life of "Faith" really looks like? I have come to the conclusion that I have faith...but it's not where it should be. If you know me or have read this blog before you know that I claim to be a follower of Christ. But upon closer inspections I have fooled myself into thinking and making myself out to be something I am not. Really I am just another traveler on this journey of life that is bound for hell. I am a self made man to some extent. I don't deserve the life I have. I have not earned it. I am to young to have built it for myself. The only reason that i stand where i am today is because of God and the morsel of a crumb of faith that i have in God.
I have been looking through random scripture verses lately and feeling more and more that I have no Faith that God will provide for all my needs. And why should he I am not really living for him I am trying but trying is not good enough. That's like saying I am hungery and thursty making a sandwich and pouring a glass of milk and not consuming them. I am trying to fix my hunger and thurst by appearing to do the right things but not taking it in.
I am still young I have lots of time but now is the time to start. Maybe that means living to feed others and risk going hungery. Or giving till i have no more to give.
my thoughts that this year is the year to begin practicing what I have been told and thought of doing for so long. I need to bite the sandwich and begin to use the gifts and faith that I have found in Christ. I may become poor, I may become starving, I may find myself in place i wouldn't have dreamed of going or living. But it's time. I don't know what my life will look like or how much it will change. I will still finish my degree because i am not going to waste what i have started. It might just take longer to pay it all back but that's ok right?
God is truely in control.
