the new year and all that it promises

Well it's been a while since i typed on this thing the last post was because i couldn't sleep and I am at that point again.

Tonight me head is flooding with thoughts of the new year. plans and hopes that I have mostly about losing weight and getting in better shape working harder and trying to be more diciplined in my prayer and devtional life as well as life in gerneral.

this last year I seemed to have spent more time busying my self with lots of service and taking little time to make sure that i was in check. I don't want to become selfish in the new year making all the time for me but rather want to make sure that I am physically capable of giving as much as i can to others. in order to do that i am being told by God that i need to work on my inner being my soul and connection with God so that the works that i do find their glory being giving to God instead of my ego.

there are a lot of things that i hope to happen this year I really would love to share lots of my life with others and hopefully find a righteous women to share parts of my life with. With that I am content to being single the rest of my life filling my disire to share my life with many people this summer I was pretty much in a relationship with Joe's place as a whole meaning that If I wasn't working at the smoothie bar or trying to take time to myself I was hanging out with someone and/ or many poeple staff and youth from joes place.

but know iam about to hit 22 I have been waiting forthis year with anticipation I don't know what will happen but i got a feeling it will be life changing for me. so this year is a year of excitement. but also loads of stress. I need to start figureing life out do i return for full time education? or do part time? if i do part time what does that look like for finances? I need to get God back in the center focus and meet with him in the calm eye of the storm of life.

I know newyears is just anouther day and like everyday we should be tryingto improve our selfs but a new number on a year is a freash start. will i keep these resolutions? maybe if i make them every day until it is routine and i get sick of them or something breaks the rotine and I can't get back into it.

this is were i am at I need you Lord to break back into my life with avengence. gab me by the thourgh and choke me into submission so that i might serve you take care of others learn to love all men and disern and have wisdom on what to call poeple on. I willing to grow and become more aggisive if needed but afraid to lose the kindness that I have in my heart for all men. wait that probably isn't my kindness must be jesus in me while then that shouldn't change right?
let me strip off the old self and gain wings that I might fly and show God off more and more.