retracing my steps

Growing up I have always had people to turn to for help and still do today but there were rough times in my life that I look back on and realize that those times shaped me into who I am.



Since childhood I have been taught that there is a God and that he died to save me from my sins. My parents loved me in all they did and gave me the most stable life two loving Christians parents could give. They treated my brother and I both as we needed to be treated in love and discipline. The four of us lived together in one house and we attended one church, I went to one elementary school and then one high school. Over all my life as been very stable and I consider it a blessing to have growing up in such a healthy family.


However I have my own struggles the first that I can recall clearly was in grade 6. Feeling as Elijah the prophet felt "I am the only one left [christian in my public school]" I hated grade six was was put in a grade 5/6 split and in a sense left behind while the majority of my friends moved on in life. I became subject to teasing and being bullied and was left socially alone. If it wasn't for my faith in God at that point in my life I would have considered ending my life because it sucked. Fortunately when the world turned it's back on me I decided to turn my back on it, and turned to my youth group for the support of friends I needed.

However that was not my only struggle, being male I struggle with lust and all that goes with it. My secret life all through youth group and still today. Is after spending the Friday and Saturday night out with friends I scome to my inner demons and surf the web or T.V. to satisfy my body's desires. I know that I have been set free from this by my Lord and savior but I also know that I am like a dog returning to his own vomit. Because of my lust I viewed women up until couple years ago as objects that were for my pleasure. Fortunately I was to shy to ever approach girls and try and get what I really wanted. Also I tended to keep my self free from sex until I am married and then I can experience physical love with a girl that is more then just an object as I have most of my life thought that they were.


What broke me of this habit and sent me on a new career path then what I thought was were I was suppose to go was my trip to Panama with brio missions and Big world ventures. I knew that I was going to be changed but in what ways I had no idea. Below is my team there was only three guys the rest well were girls.

On this trip God convicted my of my sin and gave me the chance to confess and ask for forgiveness from these girls as well as 400 others that were on the missions trip. Along with confessing I felt God calling my into a bible college.

After a year of working in a lumber yard and seeking out a college program that would lead me to be a stronger christian I came across a program called Kaleo. It was everything and more that I needed. It gave me a group of friends that I consider my brothers and sisters and closer then family. As well as a lot of amazing travels all around B.C. which was always a dream of mine to live in B.C. for at least a year. Kaleo challenged me to learn more about God and let him take over my life and lead it where he wants to use me most. Then after a summer at camp acting as the skate park leader God called me out to the flat lands of Canada.

This is where I am know after finishing up my second year of bible college at Briercrest and being stretched by God even more here I am in Moose Jaw expecting to be put through the trials and tests that God has for me. As I learn to love and encourage those that I am forced to interact with and those that I willing seek to get to know. My job is a server in a smoothie bar called Urban Apeel and volunteer at Joe's place a youth drop in center. I don't know where my path that I am on will lead but every step I take is Intentional and with ever step comes the tension of living in the world and following God.

If you have read this far Thank you for caring to read and I invite you to join me on my journey from this point in my life to where ever God may lead. This blog is to keep track of where God has taking me and get my thoughts out to you so that you may read and respond and correct me if I am wrong.

Peace, Love and Prayers.